


I don't know where I'm going, but I'll gladly go with you

by AxlotlAtHeart



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Existential Crisis, F/M, Fluff, Mild Angst, POV Sansa Stark, Weddings, other Starks mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 08:40:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23848327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AxlotlAtHeart/pseuds/AxlotlAtHeart
Summary: Arya has just eloped with Gendry, and Sansa is thrilled at first but also starts to have a bit of a quarter-life crisis. She gets guidance from an unexpected source. Written for the "20s" prompt of the Theonsa Challenge (is that still going on? I'm like 90% it's still going on.)
Relationships: Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, Theon Greyjoy/Sansa Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 53
Collections: Theonsa Challenge 2020





	I don't know where I'm going, but I'll gladly go with you

The afternoon had been a whirlwind of hugs and photographs, laughter and champagne and tears. Even now that it was mostly over, Sansa still felt the last dregs wearing off, a buzz still in her limbs.

She’s never thought seeing her sister get married would make her as emotional as it did. But Arya was still just a _baby,_ or so it seemed, and she couldn’t help remembering her running around the backyard trying to eat worms, coming home with grass stains covering her knees…and now she was a _married woman._ Impossible.

The wedding had been very simple, very casual. Arya wore jeans and preferred not to call it a ‘wedding’ at all. Only Arya’s siblings and a few Honourary Starks, as she’d called, them were invited, and only earlier that very morning. They’d all gone to the beach and brought a bottle of champagne, and Jon’s friend Sam – who had taken an online orientation an hour before they left and was now _technically_ a wedding officiant – married her and Gendry. Legality was a little more shaky when it came to the secluded spot they’d picked on the beach, however. Arya and Theon, of all people, had been the ones to suggest it with the hints that it _might_ be private property, but no one else could get a straight answer from either of them.

Sansa had taken herself away to a cluster of rocks that jutted out into the water, to sit and think, to reflect. She watched the sun dip further below the horizon, her siblings’ and in-laws’ forms darkening to silhouettes. She couldn’t help smiling. It had been a nice night.

She slid down the rocks a little, right to where they met the water, dipping her bare feet beneath the surface. It was a warm summer night, and the water just the right temperature for comfort. She’d thought if her sister wanted to get married it would have been in the winter, but she’d been surprised. Not that anything about Arya could really surprise her anymore.

There was a loud splash followed by a shriek from somewhere near her family’s silhouettes. From what she could see, the bride herself had just been tossed in the water. Either that or it was Rickon, she couldn’t really tell from here.

She smiled to herself. There was a brief scuffle, and then she heard another shout and another splash, and soon half her relatives seemed to be shoving each other into the water. Whatever had instigated it all, she was very glad she’d temporarily removed herself from the group. But when she squinted, she realized someone else seemed to have done the same. The guys were all easily distinguishable; Robb and Gendry towering over everybody else, Jon trying to pull Sam into the water, Bran sitting a little of to the side an Rickon right in the middle of things. But where was - ?

“Sansa?”

Sansa turned around to see Theon, Robb’s oldest friend, climbing rather unsteadily over the rocks towards her.

“Careful,” she said. “They’re a bit slippery. I think the tide’s starting to come in.”

He grinned at her. “Me, slip? Never.” He gestured to his shirt, which was heavily splattered with water. “Besides, I don’t think it would make much difference now even if I fell in.”

“What in the world is going on over there?” Sansa said as he came and sat beside her.

He shrugged. “Gendry thought it would be a great idea to chuck his new wife into the water, which you can imagine she took _really_ well , so she tackled him and then everyone else got involved.”

Sansa sighed, but she was smiling. “That sounds like them.”

Beside her, Theon lay down on the rocks, one arm behind his head. Sansa hesitated, then lay down next to him. The sky above them had faded to a burnt purplish colour, stars winking into existence. All around them was the soft crash of waves against the rocks. Theon shifted slightly, his leg very close to hers.

“Weird, isn’t it?” He said. “Seeing Arya married? I still see her as a twelve year old in some ways.”

“Oh god, me too. I know it’s not like she’s settling down or anything, but it’s still _wrong._ She’s a child.”

Theon snorted. “I mean, she’s twenty one.”

“That’s still a child!”

But he was still laughing at her. Sansa passed a hand over her eyes. “It just seems like this is all happening so fast. One minute we’re in elementary school and fighting over who gets the front car seat, and the next she runs off and gets married…it’s insane.”

“I know,” said Theon. “I remember when you were both just kids, it seems like only a day ago.” He gave her a quick glance. “You used to be shorter than me.”

“I find that hard to picture.”

They both laughed. If she had to choose who out of those there would be the best to lie on the rocks and reminisce with, she had to admit Theon would not have been her first pick. But it was unexpectedly nice, just the two of them without anyone else.

“So,” she said, “about this beach. Are you going to tell me whether or not we’re actually allowed to be here?”

He grinned at her. “That’s my secret.”

Wonderful. “And how exactly do you and Arya know about it in the first place?”

“Oh, that was pure coincidence. I didn’t know she’d heard of it and she didn’t know I’d heard of it. I promise I’m not hanging out one on one with your sister, I don’t think we’d be able to spend more than twenty minutes together without trying to kill each other.”

They both laughed again, but at almost the exact same time Sansa felt a sudden wave of something like loneliness.

“What’s wrong?” Theon rolled over to face her, genuine concern in his sea-green eyes.

“I don’t know,” she said truthfully. “I just feel like…oh, it’s so stupid. I just got this feeling…”

“And?”

It _was_ stupid. She had her family, and her friends, people who loved her. And yet…

“I feel like everyone is leaving me behind. And I never thought she would, too.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, it’s not – it’s like – “ she groaned, covering her face with her hands. “I shouldn’t talk about this stuff. Arya just got married, I should be _happy.”_

She heard Theon sitting up next to her, gently prying her hands away from her face. “Hey, don’t worry about that. Just tell me what’s the matter, will you?”

“Well I – I _am_ happy for her, I just…” She looked over to where the rest of her siblings were, and the strange feeling intensified.

“It’s not like you’re making a scene or anything. Just talk to me, Sansa.” Theon gave her a small nudge, and she looked up to see him watching her closely. He wouldn’t laugh, he would understand…

She took a deep breath, trying to put into words what she felt. “It’s just that…everyone seems to be growing up. And I’m not. First Robb got married, then Bran and Arya both went to school, and now _she’s_ married…and I know I chose not to do any of that, I _chose_ not to go to school and keep working, but I just feel like I could be…missing out.”

He was quiet for a minute. Then he nodded. “I get it.”

“You don’t.”

“Yeah, I do. I mean, look at me. I’m older than you, and I haven’t done anything interesting.”

“But you’re…you’re different. You know what you want, you still have things you’d _like_ to do, you just haven’t done them yet. I have no idea what I want at all. I can’t even remember the last time I found a new hobby. I feel like I’m not _going_ anywhere.”

She looked down at her hands, the guilt, the real crux of it coming into focus. “I think my parents would be disappointed in me,” she whispered.

To her surprise, Theon put his arm around her. “Hey, look at me. Don’t say things like that, you know it isn’t true. It’s not an easy time, you know? And people do things at different speeds. Your siblings might seem like they’ve got everything together, but I doubt it, nobody does. Your twenties are weird, that’s all there is to it.”

Sansa smiled in spite of herself. “That’s more wisdom than I’d expect from you.”

He shrugged, but she could see him smiling too. “Not wisdom. Just experience.”

“So you don’t…you don’t think I’m a failure? Because I really have no idea what to do with my life, none at all.”

“Not at all. Honestly, I really don’t know what I’m doing with my life either.”

“But I thought – you’ve told me all about your business ideas. And you’ve got the sailing thing, aren’t you serious about any of that?”

“Sure I am. That’s all they are though, ideas. I still don’t know how to go about it, or if it’ll go anywhere at all.” He looked sideways at her. “I don’t know what I’m doing any more than you do.”

“But you always seemed like…like you had everything under control.” She’d seen him down at the beach later in the summer, teaching kids to sail, or else with Robb whenever they had a big Stark gathering, and he would always offer up news from his life with a smile, easygoing as ever. Sansa had always thought him to be one of those people who had everything together, who had no doubts about life or themselves.

He only laughed. “Me, under control? You must not know me as well as I thought you did. There are times when I get like you are, or when I feel like I’ll never achieve anything at all. And when I was your age, it was even worse.”

“I’m sorry.” She didn’t know what else to say.

“Don’t be sorry. It happens to all of us, that’s what I’m saying. But you will figure something out eventually, Sansa. I promise. It doesn’t have to be right now.”

To her complete embarrassment, Sansa felt tears prickling the corners of her eyes. She brushed them away impatiently. “That’s…thank you for saying that. I’m sorry I’m so…like _this._ It’s just – my baby sister just got _married,_ I don’t know what to feel!”

This time he did let out a small chuckle. “I know. And I know how it feels for time to seem like it’s just slipping away, like everyone else is moving forward and you’re not. I get it, I really do.”

She sniffed, wiping her eyes again on her cardigan sleeve. Theon put a gentle hand on her shoulder. “It’ll get better though, you know. It always does. I’m not really the best for giving advice, but…I do know how your feel. That’s all.”

In the sunset his dark curls looked almost reddish, his eyes the same colour as the water around them. For the first time in her life, Sansa felt weirdly embarrassed looking at him.

“I really am sorry I’ve made such a fuss,” she muttered at her knees.

His arm went around her shoulders. “Don’t worry about it. Really. Now, do you want stay here for a bit or go back to your crazy relatives?” He hesitated. “If you want to stay, I can sit with you if you’d like.”

She considered it for a moment. “No, I’ll go back,” she ended up saying. “Thanks, though. I mean it, you’ve helped a lot.”

He looked a little awkward. “I didn’t do all that much.”

Some wild impulse seized her and she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Trying not to think about what she’d just done, she stood up. “You did more than enough. Do you want to come back with me?”

He seemed rather stunned at the kiss, but nodded mutely and came up to her on the rocks. On another impulse, Sansa took his hand, and trying not to trip along the way, they walked back together to the beach under the swiftly setting sun.


End file.
